


Roxy Lalonde Explains Antimemetics To You

by a2aaron



Category: Homestuck, SCP Foundation
Genre: Antimemetics Department, Gen, POV Second Person, They/Them Pronouns for Roxy Lalonde
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-14 17:22:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20195929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a2aaron/pseuds/a2aaron
Summary: It is your first day at the SCP Foundation. You're struggling to find where the Antimemetics Department is when you stumble in to a fellow coworker. You ask them for a quick rundown of the terminology used at the Foundation.





	Roxy Lalonde Explains Antimemetics To You

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Рокси Лалонд рассказывает тебе об антимеметике](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25088776) by [KassiePavuk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KassiePavuk/pseuds/KassiePavuk)

It is your first day at the SCP Foundation. You have just gotten out of a whirlwind of on-boarding talks and rapid-fire briefings on your admittedly vague research position in the Antimemetics Division. However, despite having been in no less than four hours worth of in depth presentations (complete with professional looking PowerPoint slideshow animations), you can't seem to remember anything meaningful. 

Currently, you are wandering the halls of Site-19 hoping to find your work station, or failing that, literally anyone who works in your department. Unfortunately, it seems that none of the maps of the massive facility show where the place actually is, and you can't find anyone in the site directory either.

While looking down at your Foundation issued smartphone's built in map (which also doesn't seem to have the Antimemetics Division as a location), you accidentally walk into another researcher.

ROXY: hey watch where ur goin  
ROXY: what if i was some spooky monster who wanted to like eat u or somethin, where would u b then?  
ROXY: o wait ur one of the new hires aren't u 

You answer that you are indeed a new hire. You take a quick glance at the person you managed to crash right into. Their name tag reads "Roxy Lalonde, Level Four Researcher. Antimemetics Department." Thank god, someone who might be able to help you.

ROXY: this has got be an overwhelming first day 4 u isn't it?

You tell them that the standard orientation flew right over your head. What was that whole section on "cognitohazards" and "antinarratives" all about anyways?

ROXY: ok wow they reallllly aren't teachin the new hires very well anymore are they?  
ROXY: lmao they're even skippin out on the clothes budget for the newbies huh  
ROXY: they didnt even give u a fancy lab coat or cool name badge

You notice that, in addition to their standard-issue Foundation lab coat, Roxy is wearing a purple scarf. You're pretty sure that doesn't conform to Foundation dress code but you're also in no position to actually say anything.

ROXY: oh man u caught me red handed  
ROXY: the higher ups r gonna terminate me for wearin this bombass scarf  
ROXY: yeah im not technically supposed to wear it  
ROXY: but being in the antimemetic division has its perks  
ROXY: anyways it sounds like ur p lost so what can i do to help u out specifically?

You ask if they can help you find where your desk is located in this nightmare maze of a facility, and also if you could get a brief rundown of the Antimemetics Division.

ROXY: no prob lol  
ROXY: tbh they should just put me in charge of orientation, im way better at it than dirk is  
ROXY: dude likes to pretend he knows jack and shit about the foundation but he's totally up his own ass

You and Roxy start walking again. All the halls of the facility look the same--concrete walls with harsh white lighting and the faint hum of machinery emanating from somewhere. How does anyone ever know where they are in this place?

This place seems rather busy all the time. There's always some low level researcher like you hurriedly speed-walking to another section of the site. You two pass by laboratories, break-rooms, massive bunker-like chambers with thick metal doors on the front. You hear fragments of conversations from people holding clipboards as they discuss some mysterious phenomenon or otherworldly creature you've never heard of.

ROXY: ok so like  
ROXY: you basically have three categories of what i like to call psyche based anomolies  
ROXY: damnit how do u spell that  
ROXY: *anymolees  
ROXY: *anom mo lies  
ROXY: freaky brain shit  
ROXY: its shit that does weird shit to ur head  
ROXY: u have ur cognitohazards, which is fancy nerd talk 4 "DONT LOOK AT IT DUMBASS"  
ROXY: these are the classic thing-what-make-u-go-crazy and turn u into a rampaging monster  
ROXY: or more likely some monster goes after u and then u die lol  
ROXY: basically if u directly sense it then it can do it's magic bullshit on u  
ROXY: like the dude who kills u if u look at his face  
ROXY: or the cowbell that makes a dude stalk u if u ring it  
ROXY: sometimes u have non-magic cognitohazards  
ROXY: like the sun is a cognitohazard cause if u stare at it ur gonna go blind  
ROXY: or like, super high pitched sounds are cognitohazardous  
ROXY: but most of the stuff we handle is obvs more dangerous than that

Sounds simple enough. Don't look at it, don't listen to it, don't smell it, et cetera. 

ROXY: next up is the infohazards  
ROXY: wtf is it with the foundation and naming everything a hazard lmao  
ROXY: gonna start appending "hazardous" to everything  
ROXY: all fancy like "SCP dash bluh is a sliphazardous ceramic floor located in the site whatever breakroom and was created after dr redacted poured his coffee all over the floor like an idiot"  
ROXY: back on topic tho  
ROXY: infohazard does its brainfreaky shit through knowledge  
ROXY: for example, im a toaster that can only be referred to in first person  
ROXY: wait no let me try again  
ROXY: im obviously not a toaster, i mean instead that i am a toaster  
ROXY: i am a toaster  
ROXY: god damn it  
ROXY: the number which corresponds to me, the toaster, is SCP-426.  
ROXY: i have the annoying property of always using first person to describe myself  
ROXY: you get my point  
ROXY: a lot of the infohazards r super annoying cause u cant talk about them without also triggering their dumbass effect  
ROXY: like the one that makes u mispel words, fortunately that one doesnt work on me!  
ROXY: these are always fun because trying to study them is a gigantic pain in the ass  
ROXY: "you wanna learn about the perfect glass sphere? nice try asshole, now you go crazy"  
ROXY: it's not a perfect sphere btw it only looks like one cause its bullshit  
ROXY: aw man i hope that doesnt count as a containment breach  
ROXY: forget i said anything about that i guess

You realize that you're not sure where Roxy has taken you within the site. Nothing about the environment has really changed, but you're certain that this area is somehow different from the rest of the facility. There's... less stuff here? No, that doesn't make sense. This area looks the same--same doors and floors and ceiling, but it feels like you're trying to imagine how this place looks, rather than actually seeing it. All the details keeps slipping out of your grasp as soon as you look at them.

ROXY: the last group is the memetic hazards  
ROXY: the memes  
ROXY: the may-mays  
ROXY: the memesterinos  
ROXY: the memetics  
ROXY: a meme at its core is just an idea that spreads really well  
ROXY: like music is memetic because it's easy to remember and if you hum it you can probably get someone else to remember  
ROXY: some of them are really really insistent about spreading  
ROXY: there's like six scps that are drawings that make you want to copy it and show it to other ppl and if u dont then u die or go crazy or somethin  
ROXY: (not all memes r like that tho some are just normal-good at spreading)

You two stop at a breakroom. A sign just above the door reads "Room 1025 - Antimemetics Department Breakroom". The inside looks similar to basically every other breakroom in the site. Two vending machines in one corner of the room, each dispensing Foundation-approved snacks and beverages, a small kitchen area with coffeepot, fridge, and microwave, and some cheap plastic chairs and tables for people to eat at. You two sit down at one of the tables. Roxy pulls out their lunch, mashed potatoes with gravy, a turkey leg, and some pumpkin pie.

ROXY: the site cafeteria had a good desert menu today  
ROXY: no one else was getting the pie for some reason, like they just didn't even notice it  
ROXY: more for me i guess lol

You still have the same dreamy feeling you had earlier. The chairs at the table seem like they're shifting positions whenever you stop. Maybe they really are? You don't really like this feeling.

You take your mind off the room and ask Roxy how a memetic anomaly is different from just an infectious infohazard.

ROXY: it's sorta like that!  
ROXY: but one thing that a meme needs is recognition  
ROXY: if i started telling u about a thing u didn't know about, you probably wouldn't be able to understand what i was saying  
ROXY: even if i inserted a dangerous af meme in there  
ROXY: but if u don't, that's cause u dont have the necessary knowledge for the meme to take effect  
ROXY: for example: you may or may not recognize the significance of the number "four one three"  
ROXY: if u do, congrats! ur infected by a meme  
ROXY: (a benign one in this instance but a meme nonetheless)  
ROXY: you can extend this in various ways  
ROXY: for instance, you can subtly embed cognitohazards into a piece of writing (like say highly classified information)  
ROXY: such that if you DONT have exposure to a specific "innoculation" meme then you die or get knocked out or something  
ROXY: (that's how a memetic kill agent works btw. it's a misnomer, it's not the meme that kills you, it's the cognitohazard you don't have memetic protection against that does)  
ROXY: now, some of the REALLY dangerous memes are deadly because they work on basically everyone  
ROXY: cause they exploit the fundamental parts of thought  
ROXY: for example there's 1314  
ROXY: that one is a bunch o' math equation that makes you simulate a universe in your mind  
ROXY: that one targets the motivation and prioritization centers of ur mind, which makes you want to just think about this simulated universe  
ROXY: but eventually there's too many things to keep track of and it and acts like a zipbomb, forcing you to overwrite all available space on your brain hard-drive  
ROXY: and since motivation is something common all people, everyone on earth is susceptible.  
ROXY: BUT that scp also has a super good example of the recognition requirement  
ROXY: cause obviously if you don't understand the math (and some of it gets pretty complex), you can't even simulate it  
ROXY: so u have to also have that knowledge in order to be at risk of infection.

You remark that all three of these categories seem pretty similar. Not identical, but there's lots of similarities.

ROXY: the main difference is in how you're exposed  
ROXY: cognitohazards require you to actually exposure urself to the object in some way  
ROXY: you can't get hurt by the sun if you don't go outside  
ROXY: which honestly probably is true for a good number of the people here  
ROXY: but infohazards don't require that, only that you know about the object or that you're talking about it  
ROXY: memetics can spread through both vectors usually, both knowing a piece of information, or being exposed to an object which imparts some sort of knowledge  
ROXY: in this way they're kind of like the intersection of both things.  
ROXY: its like the slender mans  
ROXY: if u tell someone about mr slendy then he goes after u  
ROXY: (fortunately marble hornets isnt real  
ROXY: unfortunately tho a lot way worse shit is real)

You ask about Roxy's specialty, antimemetics. They give a small smile, clearly excited to talk about this topic.

ROXY: oh man  
ROXY: now we get to the really fun part  
ROXY: B)  
ROXY: the B is a sunglasses

You have no idea what that means.

ROXY: so  
ROXY: if a meme is something that spreads well  
ROXY: makes you remember it and want to make others know about it  
ROXY: then what is the opposite of that?

A... reverse meme?

ROXY: no dummy its an antimeme jeez get it together lol  
ROXY: its something which, rather than being spread or remembered easily, is difficult to do either of those things  
ROXY: maybe you can't write it down because the information self destructs  
ROXY: or you can't remember it  
ROXY: or maybe it's just plain ol' bullshit magic that prevents you from talking about it in any reasonable capacity  
ROXY: just like memes, normal antimemes exist  
ROXY: for example: the meeting u were in earlier was pretty antimemetic  
ROXY: not because the presenter was using anomalous antimeme majyyks because it was just kinda confusing and boring  
ROXY: it doesn't impart information very well, so you don't easily retain it  
ROXY: (now, i can't confirm that the presentations DONT involve antimeme majyyks  
ROXY: but im gonna put the likely hood at "low but its the foundation so who fuckin knows lmao")

Antimemes must super annoying to work with then, given their slippery nature.

ROXY: antimemes really put the fun in frustrating  
ROXY: (the fun is antimemetic)  
ROXY: in all seriousness though, yeah, they're tricky  
ROXY: i don't actually know if the department even knows how many antimemes they've contained  
ROXY: like off the top of my head  
ROXY: the super common antimeme everyone knows about is scp-055  
ROXY: the one u can only ever remember what it isn't  
ROXY: and a little bit other than that

You say that you've never heard of an SCP-055.

ROXY: trust me, you have  
ROXY: ive definitely learned and forgotten of its existence like, dozens of times by now  
ROXY: i know this cause i wrote it down  
ROXY: check it out

They hold up a small spiral-bound notebook. The front is decorated with all sorts of items, including a small pink cat sticker, various low-quality wizard images, and a spirally design consisting of six short arcs drawn in dark blue marker pointing towards the center of the notebook. Somehow this is the easiest thing to focus on in the room. It's unbelievably noticeable--you can see it with perfect clarity. 

ROXY: this is my cool diary of romantic secrets  
ROXY: jk, it's actually my work journal  
ROXY: i use it so i can remember important shit that i keep forgetting  
ROXY: unfortunately past me is perpetually cryptic as SHIT so its not a gigantic help  
ROXY: look at some of these pages

They open to a random part in the middle of the notebook. As best as you can tell, the page is an incompressible mess of fragments written in pink glitter pen. "dont forget today (4/13)", "a name forgotten", "dont remember who but they're not gone", "six plus six why was this important?", "first one C?". In the upper left is a small a diagram of the Moon casting a shadow on the Earth, with an arrow pointing at the darkest part of the shadow. Next to that, a snake wrapping around a pole in a giant spiral. 

ROXY: the pink is an essential part of the notebook  
ROXY: it is the most important part actually  
ROXY: now sometimes im less of an asshole to future me and i write down normal shit

They open to a different page. This one appears to be a rough draft of an SCP entry... sorta.

scp- fuck it ill find a number later  
  
class: keter very keter  
  
contain: who the fuck knows, figure out a way to stop him without using a plan. without even thinking of a plan.  
  
description: warps the plot about himself, always wins when he does. "the end of all stories". does not exist yet (that doesnt matter tho). already here. shield your thoughts, you can't make a story.

Below that is a drawing of a skull with a laser shooting from it's jaw. 

ROXY: yeah i have no fucking clue either  
ROXY: as far as i understand my own cryptic haze  
ROXY: i do not remember at least one important person, and there is at least one SCP that is super duper fucking out of containment, or never was in containment, and apparently is a laser powered skeletonman?

Something feels dangerous about having learned of this. Like you just set something in motion by simply having known about it. Like you just infected everyone with a memetic hazard. No, something stronger than a memetic hazard. What would that even be?

You both think it's a good idea to drop the topic.

ROXY: well, im about done with my lunch break  
ROXY: ill show u the layout of the department and let u handle it from there.  
how that sound?

Sounds good. You both stand up and go back to the hallway, and stop a little farther down the hall, at Room 1030.

ROXY: this is the main antimemes laboratory  
ROXY: im usually at here, you'll prolly be dropping in on here a bunch as well

You two round a hallway.

ROXY: back here is where the offices actually are  
ROXY: rooms 1100 thru 1500 are all antimeme stuff tho not all are used  
ROXY: im room 1413, you'll probably be in the 100s-200s given your new status

You two locate your room. It's a bit bare at the moment, just a Foundation issue desktop and some basic office supplies.

ROXY: hopefully someone will be by to get the rest of everything for u set up

Sweet. That seems all good then. You think you're finally ready to start researching the exciting world of memes, and antimemes, and infohazards, and so on. 

ROXY: oh hey  
ROXY: i just realized i never actually got ur name  
ROXY: what was it?

Oh, right! You never really introduced yourself. How foolish of you! You tell them that your name is Calliope, but everyone just calls you Callie!

ROXY: nice to meet you callie!

You two shake hands.

ROXY: hope u enjoy the antimemes department  
ROXY: now if u'll excuze me i gotta head back

They start back down the hall. Faintly you can hear them whisper something to themselves.

ROXY: six plus six...


End file.
